Art Because

I make art because I am the God of my own world. I can hold the creation in the palm of my hand and control the universe. Simple shapes transform and mold into magnificent lines and contours of images that dance across the vista of my mind. It is my job as an artist to convey my gift to others and selfishly enjoy the power I hold over those who cannot enjoy the same freedom. But this comes with a price, because the power that I hold and lavish betrays me to some other incapability that I lack. My interpretation skills of complex scientific mentality is lost if it isn’t explained at a visual standpoint. My logic skills sway to the rhythm of my uncontrolled artist emotion. What is nothing can be turned in an instant into something over nothing, because my logic fails and my power happy artist emotion reigns supreme. To oppress this spontaneous nature pinches vital fluid from reaching my artist flow. But people change and bad things happen. Growing older, provoked illness, moving away, finding someone new, living the life you always wanted. Slowly killing yourself to responsibility. Finding every reason not to make art. You have to work early in the morning. You have a paper due in two days. You were lazy yesterday and need to exercise today. I need more inspiration. I can’t today I just don’t have the time. I’ll try this afternoon if I have some time. Nobody cares if I draw anyway. Yes, I’ll draw that for you, but not for me. Yes, I will continue to make excuses about my in-capabilities that are my true abilities. I want to draw. I want to fill the power formerly rivaled by others. I want to say no to everyone and everything get lost and remain in a state of hopelessness. Scream at the top of my lunges what’s wrong with this world I’m living in. Spit flames of prejudice at the church and stab the people I care about the most in the back and laugh maniacally as I hear their cries of sorrow. I want everything I ever wanted to befall me and let no one else share in that same joy. I don’t want any of these things at heart. I have a place to stay, I have a little money to pay bills, I have a wonderful boyfriend, I even more I have amazing friends, I have a dog, I have my own life away from my crazed parent, I have talent, I have family, I have love, I have selflessness, I have forgiveness, I have dreams-ambitions, I have a will, I have a drive…

… I have myself.